Ontario's new motto: We don't trust you to be responsible

What is going on at Queen’s Park? Someone should check the water.

Earlier today I wrote about the McGuinty government’s infantilizing of Ontarians, only to find out later that they’re not satisfied with attacking young drivers, they also want to go after responsible adult motorcyclists in yet another misguided attempt to "protect the children".

Helena Jaczek, Liberal MPP for Markham, has tabled a bill, Bill 117, that would prohibit any licensed motorcycle operator from carrying anyone under the age of 14 years as a passenger. The Bill passed first reading on October 27, 2008 with 2nd reading scheduled for December 4.

As The Toronto Star reports, not even the Canada Safety Council agrees there’s a need for this level of government intrusion. According to Raynald Marchand, program general manager for the national charitable organization, "We've found that young children are probably transported (on motorcycles) by their parents, and they're typically on short rides and the parents are very careful about it. This is a solution looking for a problem." (emphasis mine).

I think I’ll take my depleted RRSP and invest it all in plastic bubbles, because soon the McGuinty Liberals will have us all living in them until it’s time to put us in the ground... in a plastic bubble, of course.

Summertime, and the living is easy

It seems it’s finally here. After a long, snowy winter and a miserable spring, we’re now into the 30-degree days of summer. The water temperature in the lake has reached 27 degrees (about 80 on the ‘old’ scale) – perfect for floating in the lounger with a cold beer at hand. The golf courses are in great shape after all that rain. Bass season has just opened. And plans are afoot to take the new ride to Sturgis for the 68th Anniversary Rally in August.

So with all those reasons to exit the cocoon and enjoy this all too brief respite from the other 9 months of the year, why on earth would anyone waste any time at all paying the least bit of attention to all the political posturing, gamesmanship, and general bullshit that sadly never takes a break?

But I do have to relate this one told me last week:

“Why is it that our politicians all seemed surprised by the sudden shortage of oil?”
“Because the oil is in Alberta, Saskatchewan, Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. And the dipsticks are all in Ottawa.”

All of which is to say that unless something catastrophic happens over the course of the summer such as Stephen Harper deciding to become an NHL General Manager (Please, someone make him an offer!) I don’t expect to be doing much political blogging. I’ll leave that in the hands of far more capable folks than I.

And you’ll find me in the lounger, on the golf course, in the boat, or on the road.

Have a great summer!

Who'll stop the rain?

This is getting depressing. We've had nothing but rain it seems since mid-April. Now it's been 10 days since I got my new ride - and it's rained every day but 1! I'm sick of cleaning and polishing, I want to put some miles on! I want to scrub the nubbies of the new tires! I want to go to Pakenham for an ice cream! I want to ride!

... may result in death or serious injury

The User Manual for my new H-D contains a wealth of information in its 63 pages, including 107 WARNINGS that specified behaviour could result in “death or serious injury”. The unaware (and some would argue intelligence-challenged) buyer is duly warned that smoking while peering into an open gas tank is unwise and “may result in death or serious injury”. Likewise, running the motorcycle in an enclosed garage is not recommended as carbon monoxide is bad for one’s health and excessive quantities may “result in death or serious injury”. There’s even a warning that failure to follow other warnings on cleaning materials could “result in death or serious injury”. (I guess I’ll have to pay more attention to the labels on soap and paste wax from now on.)

Clearly the product liability lawyers have been busy, but they’ve still missed a few. Nowhere in the manual did I find this warning: “Purchase of this motorcycle without the express prior permission of your spouse/significant other may result in death or serious injury”. Or how about: “Operating this vehicle at excessive speeds while removing the bugs from one’s teeth may result in death or serious injury.” Then there’s: “The installation of excessive chrome attachments to this motorcycle may cause blinding reflections resulting in death or serious injury”.

Note to H-D: Feel free to use the above warnings in future manuals without attribution.

Live to Ride

I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since I last posted. Well, actually, I can. Like the politicos chomping at the bit to get the hell out of Dodge, I too have succumbed to a deep malaise concerning all things political. It’s just too damn infuriating and tiresome to sustain any level of interest in the moronic happenings on the Hill for more than a few months at a stretch – and I hit the wall about 3 weeks ago.

So instead, I turned my attention to a far more interesting topic – motorcycles. Harley Davidson motorcycles to be specific. Ever since I first rode one back in the 60’s (yeah, I’m that old) I have nursed a not-so-secret desire to have one of my very own. So decades (and 20 or so other lesser motorcycles) later, I decided this was the year, and so the search was on.

I sat on every bike, new and used, at the local dealerships – several times. I watched listings in Kajiji, Craig's List, eBay, and the Auto trader. I read the want ads in the local papers. I drove all over the city looking at motorcycles and even found “the one”, only to have the owner/seller’s wife refuse to let him part with it. (He did allow as he should have obtained her permission before I drove an hour-and-a-half each way, and burned $50 in gas to check it out. Thanks a lot, pal.)

But eventually I found exactly what I was looking for in Toronto. So a quick trip for a look-see, followed by a handshake and an arranged delivery/hand-over in Kingston, and I am now the proud owner of an ’07 Dyna Low Rider.

I’ll be seeing you on the road!

Once a biker .....

Well, spring has officially sprung, and even though there’s still snow on the ground and ice on the lake, the oh-so-familiar stirrings of desire to get back on two wheels are surfacing.

After more than 30 years of riding, I got rid of my last street motorcycle – this gorgeous ‘74 Norton Commando – about 7 years ago. Work pressures and some physical problems at the time kept me from riding, so it just sat in the garage. But like any thoroughbred it needed to be ridden hard, and on a regular basis, so, sadly, off it went to a deserving home (actually, we delivered it to a downtown bank, after hours, rolling it into a back room where it was to stay until the proud new owner could figure out how to explain it to his wife – but that’s another story). While I haven’t seen it personally since then, I’m told that it’s still in the area and being thoroughly enjoyed, so I guess he finally got whatever approvals he needed.

But I digress. Where was I? ... Oh, yes. Spring. The time of year when the biking magazines find their way into my shopping cart with more frequency and the stack of back issues of Bike Trader reaches epic proportions and threatens to topple off the side table. The time of year when conversations with the spousal unit lapse into 3-word exchanges – “Dreaming again?”, “Yep.” And the time of year when the most remarkable aspect of any trip into the city is how many bikes I saw on the highway.

Spring also triggers the requisite visits to the local dealerships, just to “have a look”. The new bikes, all shiny and proud, sit out front, and the “previously enjoyed” models hide in the back, seemingly embarrassed by their flashy counterparts with their hefty price tags and “DO NOT SIT” warnings. Yet it’s to the back I go, looking for that one-in-a-million find – a pristine, slightly used, and most importantly, cheap, ride – and secretly hoping I don’t find it because then I’ll have a REAL decision to make (and explain).

And then, to top it all off, my brother sends pictures of his H-D Road King, all tuned up and ready to go, along with the link to the Sturgis web site, “in case you’d like to come along”. Sigh....

So yeah, once biking gets into your blood it never, ever leaves. Other pastimes, hobbies, sports, etc. come and go over the years, but once bitten by the motorcycling bug you are hooked for life. There will be times you change your riding interests from cruising to touring to sports riding to dirt or any of the other dozen ways in which one can have a blast on two wheels. And there will be periods when you don’t ride for a whole variety of reasons. But inevitably you will come back at some point and either buy that dream machine you can finally afford (or have finally figured out how to rationalise) or pick up an older model more appropriate to your budget and riding style. Whatever the choice, you will be back on two wheels, and I’ll be seeing you on the road.