Pay your own way? Good idea!

In a National Post column, Lorne Gunter makes the patently absurd claim that since rail cannot survive on its own, needing government subsidies to operate, Via Rail should be dismantled.

With a stunning display of ignorance, he says, "If you like to go by train, then you pay for it." It’s almost as if he thinks that the hundreds of billions invested in our roadways are a gift from some supreme being, and not paid for by Canadian taxpayers – even some who might (gasp!) prefer to travel by train.

Here’s a thought Lorne. Let’s let those who live in Calgary pay for Highway 1 so they can head into Banff for their weekend getaway in a taxpayer-funded national park. And they could also pay for Highway 2 to get them to a taxpayer-funded airport to fly to someplace where the testosterone and pickup truck exhaust fumes aren’t so thick as to cause brain damage. And that’s to say nothing about the taxpayer-funded interchanges, overpasses, and bridges Calgarians use every day in mad pursuit of their petro-dollars.

If you had to pay for all that, I expect you might just find yourself travelling by Red River cart whether you wanted to or not.

And by the way, it’s not just Albertans paying for all that largesse either – it’s Ontarians, Manitobans, Newfoundlanders – all Canadians.

You’re welcome. Now  stop being so damned stupid.

(Photo: Shaun Best, Reuters)

Yes, your brain CAN freeze...

Last weekend the OPP were called out to investigate an accident between a pickup truck and a snowmobile. In the middle of the Rideau River. While ice-fishing. Alcohol was involved.

So how Canadian is that, eh? Expect to see it in a Canada’s Hinterland episode coming to the small screen soon.

Ottawa the beautiful

Grabbed this shot while walking down Laurier Street in Ottawa last weekend.

I guess the city worker who’s job title is “The guy who clears shit out of the way of the streets painters” didn’t show up that day.

Keep your hands where I can see 'em and step away from the Timbits.

In the most recent quarter ending March 30, Tim Horton’s posted a net income of $61.8 Million. Same store sales rose over the same period last year by 3.5%.

Now comes this news:

Giving a free Timbit to a baby has cost a single mother of four her job.
Nicole Lilliman, 27, was fired yesterday from her Tim Hortons job for giving one of the 16-cent blobs of fried dough to a tot.

One could argue that the reason they made $61.8 million in the first place is because they didn’t give away food. But equally one could argue that the reason same store sales grew is precisely because of people like Ms. Lilliman who make Tim’s patrons want to come back, again and again.

Whichever view one wants to take about Ms. Lilliman’s actions, if I were the CEO of Tim Horton’s I’d be much more concerned about the judgement of a management team that thought making an example over a 16-cent Timbit was worth all the negative press this story would surely get.

You'd rather be called Sue?

From the ridiculous file (and the Australian News Network):

BRITISH soldier Kerry Hylton is suing the army because of the embarrassing nickname given to him by fellow troops.

Hylton claims he has been "demeaned'' by the nickname "Paris'', after the notorious blonde American socialite and Hilton hotel empire heiress. He is suing for race discrimination, alleging that his fellow soldiers ignored orders to stop calling him Paris.

The Daily Express newspaper reported that Hylton, a chef with the Welsh Guards, finds the nickname offensive because he considers Paris Hilton "a white woman with a low reputation''.

The Jamaica-born 33-year-old also alleged he was called several racist names at his barracks in London. An employment tribunal in London is expected to hear his case next month.

If every soldier who was given a less than complimentary nickname by his mates stared suing, there wouldn’t be an open court date anywhere until about 2025. Ridiculous that this should even get to an employment tribunal.

Well I sure feel a lot safer flying the friendly skies ....

"A gun belonging to the pilot of a US Airways plane went off as the aircraft was on approach to land in North Carolina over the weekend, the first time a weapon issued under a federal program to arm pilots was fired, authorities said."

Read the rest here.

Luckily no one was injured, but, hey, terrorism was surely thwarted once again.